Developing Trust through Courageous Conversations
Strengthening professional relationships
Have you ever been in a situation where you wished for a more honest discussion with someone about a problem that's been bothering you? Or have you been the recipient of a tough message that wasn't delivered in the most professional way? Maybe you're a manager who would like to avoid having to “tell” your team what to do!
These scenarios are more common than you might think and they all stem from a common issue – we don’t focus enough on creating and building strong, trust-based relationships. Irrespective of whether these relationships are with peers, subordinates, bosses and even suppliers and customers. Good relationships are built on trust.
The importance of building good relationships
In any professional environment, it is vital to develop good relationships with your stakeholders. However, strong, trust-based relationships don't just happen overnight. They require effort and understanding, starting with building awareness and appreciation of the person you are interacting with.
Understanding and getting to know the people around you lays the foundation for these relationships. By finding common ground, you create rapport, which gradually leads to trust. This trust is essential for open and honest communication, ultimately building loyalty and fostering a consistent and reliable partnership. Sometimes, this deep appreciation can be thought of as 'love', not in terms of romance but in the professional context of mutual respect and trust. After all, many of us spend more time with our work colleagues than with our partners. How do you start to build a relationship based on trust? It takes time.
The Trust Journey
The Trust Journey is a roadmap that illustrates the gradual development of professional relationships. This journey highlights the stages through which people pass as they build a deeper, more trusting relationship. Here's a breakdown of each stage:
Awareness: This is the initial stage where people become aware of each other's existence. In a professional environment, this could mean recognising a colleague's role, a manager's leadership style, or a customer’s needs. There is no substantial relationship at this point, just a mutual acknowledgment that the other person exists.
Rapport: At this stage, people start to engage with each other and find common ground. This could involve sharing interests, discussing non-work-related subjects or simply engaging in small talk. The aim is to create a comfortable environment where each party feels at ease communicating with the other. Building rapport is important as it lays the groundwork for the development of trust.
Trust: The foundation of any meaningful relationship is trust. In this stage, the individuals know one another well enough to start depending on each other. This trust can be based on the reliability, integrity, and competence perceived in the other person. This means believing that a colleague will complete tasks on time or that a manager will make fair decisions.
Loyalty: The result of sustained trust over time is loyalty. In this stage, there is a mutual commitment to each other's success and well-being. In the workplace, loyalty manifests as defending each other's ideas, supporting each other's projects, or sticking by each other during organisational changes. Loyalty is marked by a deep sense of allegiance and mutual support.
Love: In the context of the Trust Journey, "love" refers not to romantic affection but to a profound sense of respect, admiration and care for the other person. This is the deepest stage of the relationship, where individuals highly value and perhaps even celebrate each other's presence and contributions. In the workplace, this might be akin to a strong mentor-mentee relationship or a deep friendship where both parties go above and beyond for each other's personal and professional growth.
The Trust Journey is not guaranteed - and it doesn’t run in a straight line. Relationships can progress, or regress, from one stage to another based on actions, behaviours and external factors. The key to navigating this journey successfully is effective communication, empathy and understanding.
Cultivating relationships through mutual trust
Building mutual trust is a gradual process, but it's crucial for creating a high contribution working environment. Yet, as we navigate through these relationships, challenges inevitably arise which require the individuals involved to have a ‘Courageous Conversation’. This term, coined by Susan Scott in her book ‘Fierce Conversations’, is a methodology aimed at addressing and resolving issues through clarity, understanding, and mutual respect.
A Courageous Conversation requires you to:
Name the issue – Identify what's wrong clearly and concisely.
Provide specific examples – Clarify your point with factual instances.
Explain the impact – Describe how the issue affects individuals and the team.
Express a desire to resolve – Show your commitment to finding a solution.
Invite a response – Encourage the other person to share their perspective.
Summarise – Recap the conversation to ensure mutual understanding.
Agree a SMART action plan – Develop a specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound strategy for improvement.
Engaging in courageous conversations can significantly improve the way managers and leaders proactively manage conflicts and can be a useful tool in coaching others. It fits well with the GROW model - Goal, Reality, Options, Way Forward – and can be used at any stage of the coaching conversation. By adopting a coaching mindset, managers can move beyond the ineffective 'tell' mode, developing better listening skills and asking more impactful questions.
Avoiding the Loop of Doom
A significant barrier to effective management and communication is the so-called 'Loop of Doom,' where managers believe they are listening but, in reality, they are not fully engaged with the speaker. This can lead to misunderstanding, resentment and unaddressed issues. By learning to listen empathetically and engage in Courageous Conversations, managers and employees alike can break out of this loop, fostering a healthier, more collaborative and higher contributing work environment.
At Treehouse, we're dedicated to helping managers and leaders develop these crucial skills. Through our programmes, you'll learn how to develop your empathetic listening skills with coaching practice, enabling you to engage in meaningful and productive conversations. This will pave the way for stronger, more resilient professional relationships.
Join us on this journey to becoming the best version of yourself, capable of handling any situation with confidence and empathy. By mastering the art of Courageous Conversations, you'll be better equipped to increase your contribution and navigate the complexities of professional relationships - whether with customers, suppliers, bosses or team members.